It should be a happy break, but it doesn't seems to be happy for me...

The 344th Day (in 2010)

Finally completed the current semester that I needed to clear to subjects...

Finally I can have a relaxing semester breaks from this week onwards...

Finally I can do what I always wanna do...

Finally...finally...finally...

But...even for the 'finally'...do I really need to be happy with?

Actually,

I'm very care for my own outcome after all things have done in so much effort...

and I can think now...

is to WAIT for an answer, a conclusion!

It's been almost a year I've spent in my first college life,

it was really the longest year I've ever had...

Unlike when I was in school days,

I had so much fun times with my school-mates,

and the homework wasn't many,

but tough even it's in small amount of work...

When it comes to college life,

everything I've met wasn't really much fun that I've ever expected...

maybe because of classmates,

different races, different places and different topic for their talks...

and that's why I wasn't really get into their topic...

it's just like I've thrown aside,

left me behind without chasing them back to get together to talks again...

Well yeah,

I DO met many friends there,

but I don't seem like I'm really join with them...

maybe I prefer the friends that I used to hang out the most...

but not college-mates,

because we're different in other ways...

I'm not really good at it...

I really don't mind what they crapping while I was away from them,

because I know about what kind of person on myself...I do know...

but come to think back then,

I actually really felt lucky that I had these fellas in the class,

so that we won't get too bored or too much rubbish talks when we were having class work...

And yeah, this is my feelings on them...

but somehow I let myself disappointed on them for the first time in my college life...

that was really...really the first time I had that...

and I really felt I was too wrong to be that...

When they walked away that time,

I sat back in the car and think for a very...very long time,

to know WHAT THE F*** have I done to them...

I don't mind if they hate me...

because I really deserved it...

and I'm F***ing-bastard guy for sure...

I admit that...

I really do...

Till now,

for the break,

everything goes smoother after everything has finished...

and yet the same,

I stayed at home and didn't go out much because I wanna spend more time at home,

to give myself more time to rest after I've been workin' out so much on my own work...

and all I ever wanted to know ONE THING:

is to WAIT my results...

because the results...are my ONLY answer...

for my next destination of studies...

I should be enjoying this happy break...

but it seems like having it happily more than I'm waiting nervously...

It's not a good break for me...

not at all... ... ...!

Ciao!